Inner Healing

It is often necessary to uncover the hidden hurts, the unmet needs, and the repressed emotions which are holding us back from being the person we were meant to be.

In many cases there can be no true healing and growth until there is release from painful memories andunhealthy patterns which now interfere with our present attitudes and behaviour.

This can take place over months, or years, of counselling, or in a very short time using powerful visualising techniques. Memories are sometimes repressed and during therapy, while you are feeling relaxed and calm, it is easy for the subconscious to access them.

It is very important to have a skilled counsellor or therapist when dealing with repressed memories. So often whole families have been hurt and ripped apart due to a so-called 'repressed memory' which is, in fact, not true or not the cause of the problem at all.

I have recently heard of a case where a young woman has rejected her father utterly, because, during therapy, she remembered a scene where she saw her father naked. The therapist interpreted this to mean that the woman's father had exposed himself to her, and this was the traumatic start of her current problems. The fact that the girl was four, and that it is perfectly normal in many families for parents to dress or bathe in front of small children, seemed to elude her. It seems that no thought was given to how the scene took place - possibly she walked into the bathroom or bedroom at an inappropriate time?

As a small child, this woman was abandoned repeatedly by her mother, and brought up in an adopted family, which is trauma enough to account for her presenting problems. However, this history seemed to be ignored by both client and therapist. There were many other factors which could have been taken into account. The therapist should have investigated the whole situation much more vigorously, but instead she blamed all the client's problems on this one memory!

This type of thing has happened too many times, and I cannot stress enough how important it is to avoid a therapist who relies solely on recovered memories, as important as they might be for certain clients.

Many people hate the word 'forgiveness', and I know it is very hard to even think about forgiving when somebody has hurt you very badly. The thing is, bitterness and anger only hurt the person who is being bitter and angry! Bitterness does not bring revenge, nor does it bring healing. Anger is taken out on the wrong people and happiness moves further out of reach with each day that you hold onto all the bile. I never force anybody to forgive - well, I can't make them do anything they don't want to do anyway! However, once a person realises that their unforgiveness is preventing their own happiness, I can help them to find a way through.

In some cases the process is very quick, and in others it may take some time - it really all depends on how many 'issues' need to be dealt with.

Each case is different, and in most cases the trigger is something fairly simple, which was simply misinterpreted by the client's subconscious mind at the time.

 

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